why me?

why me?
​when my body is fighting against me.
why me?
when my body is fighting for me.
why me?
when my body is fighting.
well,
why not me?

life with a sometimes physically restricting condition means there are days when it feels as though almost everything is uncomfortable, painful, isolating.
some days the most i will manage is a shower and a meal. 
some days i will climb mountains, build bookcases, sing at the top of my lungs whilst chasing friends through crowded streets.
whatever today is, is enough.

accepting help in any case can be difficult. accepting help with what seem to be menial tasks (i could easily complete the week before) is incredibly difficult, but it is humbling. 
i am human. i was not made to work through life alone. 
life is made up of moments designed to be shared, and i am fortunate enough to have people in my life who have never thought twice about sharing.
my people lift me when my body cannot, and hold me when i am tired.
my people love me when i am low, and love me when i am high.
i am fortunate enough to have people in my life who have shared so much, and given so much, and loved me so much; “why me?” has never been an option.

it’s not easy, but it is okay. 

my body is a vessel. 
home
to my heart,
to my humour,
to my compassion,
to my intellect.

i will refurbish when i need to,
i will turn the gas down when i need to,
i will do what i need to.
whatever i do, 
is enough,
whatever i do,
is okay.